


blinding lights

by nimdlez



Category: MCND (Band)
Genre: M/M, Tooth Rotting Fluff, attempts at comedy, minjae dealing with his first crush, so much fluff all the fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:01:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28806990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nimdlez/pseuds/nimdlez
Summary: it's on days where the lights shine a little brighter that minjae has to be careful of his feelings(aka 5 times when minjae thought he was slick and 1 time he wasn’t)
Relationships: Nam Seungmin | BIC/Song Minjae
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im a baby gem and after watching 32726 hours of mcnd content on youtube i have realized my calling is mcnd fluff

1.

Dance practice is running late as usual and Minjae wants nothing more than to go back to the dorms and sleep, preferably for years if he could. He’s tired and there’s a part of the dance that makes absolutely no sense, not even after countless amounts of help from both of their main dancers. As practice drags on, his mind floats to anything except for the dance at hand, their radio schedule tomorrow, what they would have for dinner later, and how he could bargain with Huijun to switch rooms for the night to avoid his roommates’ incessant chatter. Perhaps his frustration is so evident that Seongjun calls for a brief dinner break to cool their heads. That’s all Minjae needs to lie down in the blink of an eye, pressing his cheek to the cold floor of the dance room. Sweet relief.

“That’s gross.” Huijun remarks, and Minjae only has enough energy to raise his arm and flip the younger off. He hears the patter of footsteps, guessing the others were heading out to retrieve their dinner from who knows where. Minjae hopes it’s something easy to eat since anything harder than soup would probably make his jaw fall off from exhaustion. It’s silent in the room for what seems like ages as he lies there with his eyes closed, but a soft rustling sound makes him crack open an eye. Seungmin is squatting next to him, idly staring at his face and resting his head on his hands. His eyes are tired, but Minjae can spy the mischievous glint from miles away.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Seungmin rolls his eyes at Minjae’s comment but doesn’t move an inch, instead blowing a puff of air into Minjae’s face. Miffed, the younger somehow musters enough energy to pull the other down and wrestles him into a headlock. Seungmin fights back briefly but gives up and they lie there, out of breath but too lazy to detangle themselves. “I thought you went with the others to get food.”

“I was, but I figured they could carry the jjajangmyeon themselves.”

“How many times have we had that this week?”

Seungmin shoots him a knowing look. “You know whatever Junhyuk wants, he gets.”

“You guys baby him too much.”

“Are you not included in that?”

They squabble for a little longer, somehow finding the energy to turn their languid movements into pseudo wrestling moves. It was a sort of ritual for them to behave in this manner. Minjae loved all of his members equally, but he found special fun in riling the other up whenever he could. He found himself gravitating toward Seungmin often times, like a familiar moon revolving around a brilliant star, although he would never tell him that to his face. While boasting the definite height and strength advantage, he finds that Seungmin could be unexpectedly tricky at times when they tussled. Sure enough, he feels fingers brushing up his side and Minjae yelps before slapping Seungmin’s hands away, glaring at him for the unexpected tickle attack. “That’s cheating.”

In retaliation, Minjae rolls over and crushes Seungmin underneath him, but an errant move leads to his advantage going awry. Hands are grabbing at loose clothing, and soon enough, they’re wrapped around each other like pretzels. Minjae’s nose bumps into Seungmin's nape and he can feel the older boy's warm laughter wash across his arm. His chest tightens for a brief second and his eyebrows furrow. What was that?

The sound of a camera shutter shakes him out of his confusion, and he turns his head to see the other members having returned with spoils of war. Seongjun also definitely had taken a picture of them entangled with one another.

“Delete it.” The low hum of Seungmin’s voice startles him, and Minjae jerks back, keenly aware of his hands wrapped around the other’s waist. Seungmin turns and gives him a weird look but Minjae is too busy getting up and brushing himself off to notice. He shuffles over to the others, trying to ignore how his racing heart sounded impossibly loud in his chest. Surely the others could hear it too? They’re busy unpacking food and talking amongst themselves, but Minjae is certain that someone, anyone would be able to hear the soft thrumming of his chest.

He taps the leader on the shoulder. “Hyung, my chest hurts.”

Seongjun barely even glances at him over his bowl of noodles while both Huijun and Junhyuk stifle their laughter. Minjae doesn’t understand what’s so funny.

“It seriously hurts, what’s wrong with me? Should I go to a doctor? What if I have like, arrhythmia?” The younger members burst into laughter and Seongjun has to do all he can to cover his mouth with his hand to prevent noodles from falling out. Even Seungmin from across the room is in a fit of laughter. Minjae sighs in exasperation. “Nice to know you guys care so much about me.”

“You’re a healthy young boy, I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with you.” Seongjun’s words, although reassuring, are seemingly filled with mirth. “And if there is something wrong with you, we would be the first to know.”

Minjae gives up and takes his bowl before retreating to a spot on the ground next to Seungmin. They eat in relative silence, only making noise when asking one another to pass the radish or a stray napkin. In no time at all, dinner becomes a distant memory and Seongjun is trying to rally them all to practice a little longer. Minjae figures the tightness in his chest is probably due to how hard he’s been practicing for their debut coming up. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

“Your chest feeling better?” He looks over and Seungmin is craning his neck to look up at him, nursing an amused expression and eyes reflecting halos in the bright lights of the practice room. It’s not like Seungmin looks any different than usual, with his sweaty hair and impossibly brilliant smile, but Minjae feels his chest tighten a little again. He mumbles an assurance under his breath and turns away, ignoring the rising flush creeping up his cheeks.

  
Yeah, he should definitely get that checked out later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i got diabetes writing this


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is just an outlet for me to hype up seungmin's amazing talents

2.

They’re at some radio show and Minjae has half his mind on the hot shower he’ll take upon getting back and the other half on how crammed they are on one side of the table. To his left is Seungmin and his right Junhyuk, and he thinks if he moves a few centimeters astray he’ll probably elbow the maknae in the ribs. He briefly wonders how larger groups would fare in these conditions and counts his blessings that they’re just the five.

Sound checks are being run before the broadcast can begin and Minjae spies the leader making polite small talk with the host, their occasional soft laughter ringing throughout the studio. Huijun and Junhyuk are bickering over something with hushed voices, probably something small and inconsequential, like whose socks were abandoned on the floor of the bathroom or who left the fridge door slightly ajar this morning. Seungmin next to him is quietly tapping away on his phone, face scrunched up in concentration. Minjae leans over to peek at his screen, pressing his nose into Seungmin’s hair. The smell of the coconut shampoo they share fills his senses.

“The cookie game again? You’ve been awfully obsessed with it as of late.” He remarks casually, snaking a hand around the other’s shoulders and pulling him a little closer. Seungmin mutters under his breath in protest but doesn’t do anything to stop the behavior as his hands are too preoccupied fighting the enemy on the screen. Not getting a reaction out of the other boy, Minjae pouts and rests his chin on his shoulder. “You don’t pay attention to me because of those cookies.”

“I would choose my cookies over you any day.” Minjae feigns hurt, clutching a hand over his heart while making a sound of indignation.

It doesn’t seem like the sound check is close to being finished and so Minjae resigns himself to watching Seungmin’s fingers tap on the screen. He hasn’t the faintest idea of what’s going on in the game and idly watches as small cookie figures blast orbs of light into this much larger cookie villain, with the occasional text spilling from the screen. As one of the rounds ends, Minjae turns his attention away from the screen and to Seungmin’s face which is pursed with concentration. Under the light makeup, he can see the signs of exhaustion on the other’s face. They had rehearsed near the entirety of yesterday, and Minjae could only imagine how difficult it was to simultaneously lead and teach the members all of their parts. From the sallow skin underneath Seungmin’s eyes to his furrowed brows, he can’t help but wonder how Seungmin does it so effortlessly, how they all do it somehow.

“Do you actually like your cookies more than me?”

Seungmin answers without missing a beat. “Yes.”

Before Minjae can fire back a witty retort, someone clearing their throat breaks him apart from Seungmin and he turns to face Seongjun, who is shooting him a look which he can’t quite decipher, some mixture of curiosity and forewarning. A sign flickers to life in the studio, a dull green against the yellow of the walls. They were on air.

-

The time all but flies by as they wind down to the end of the broadcast. Everything had gone smoothly and Minjae considers all of their segments a massive success. The hosts were well prepared with fun little segments to show off each of their talents, and he was especially fond of the part where they had Junhyuk act out cheesy lines off a drama script to the camera. It had been a while since he had laughed so hard and he hopes he can find the broadcast later online to keep the scene as blackmail.

Seungmin is the last to show off his talents and as predicted, he’s requested to dance to a prepared song on the spot. Minjae watches as the other easily complies, slipping from his usual wide smile into something more charismatic and charming. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say Minjae is enamored every time he sees the other move, and even after years of training together, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over how much he admires Seungmin’s passion and talent. It’s easy to cling to Seungmin and tease him, but when he dances, Minjae feels as if he’s a wobbling toddler in comparison. He knows he’s a pretty great dancer himself, but watching Seungmin day in and day out was something akin to an art form only him and the rest of the members were privy to.

Minjae hasn’t even noticed the music coming to a stop and is only shaken from his Seungmin-induced trance by the sounds of clapping in the studio. He straightens up and starts clapping a beat late, realizing the cameras had probably recorded every second of his incessant staring. Minjae wonders how long it’ll be before the footage is used by their fans in those montage videos.

“Bic that was amazing, it’s like you filled up the whole studio with your talent!” The host looks genuinely impressed and Minjae has to stop the swell of pride that wells in his chest, even though the compliment was directed at his fellow member and not himself. Seungmin is bowing to the host and the cameras, hand raised to his mouth in a beaming smile and eyes curled into half-moons. His cheeks are slightly flushed pink and Minjae can see the soft rise of his chest as the other catches his breath, suddenly being hit with an overwhelming urge to grab the other and pull him into a tight hug. Instead of doing so, Minjae opts for the next best option and grabs Seungmin’s hand to pull him back into his seat, their shoulders bumping into each other as he settles in again. “Everyone couldn’t stop watching you, especially our friend Minjae over here, he looked as if he was starstruck! Don’t you see each other every day?”

Before Seungmin can answer, Minjae leans forward into the mic. “I might see him every day, but I can watch Bic for a very long time, until we grow old together.”

Minjae’s sudden declaration causes the whole studio to burst into laughter and the earlier soft pink of Seungmin’s cheeks become much darker as they spread to the tips of his ears. He shoots Minjae a halfhearted glare, but the younger knows that there is no malice behind his look. Instead, what he sees is unbridled joy with a hint of embarrassment. Minjae’s heart becomes inexplicably warm and full, and soon enough, he’s smiling brightly right back at him.

-

They’re all squished inside the van returning to the dorms and Minjae makes sure to get in the backseat with Seungmin, even if his legs will be much more cramped.

“Don’t you usually sit in the front? Do you want to tease me that much today?”

“Of course, when do I ever pass up the opportunity to?”

They banter for a little more, but quickly fall into a comfortable silence as Seungmin drifts off into sleep while the other members chatter softly about how well the broadcast went. Minjae pretends to look out the window, but gently pulls the elder’s head to rest on his shoulder as he slumbers. His heart is doing that thing again and he hopes no one, especially Seungmin, can hear the drumming.

(He can't see it, but Seungmin is smiling.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://twitter.com/SEONGBIC/status/1351096282107023365?s=20
> 
> this is the clip of seungmin dancing that inspired this chapter perhaps i watch this video once a day


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today's update brought to you by mcnd's mhind of their 1st anniversary photoshoot (so cute)

3.

Minjae repositions the balloon over his shoulder and beams at the camera, the bright flash of the shutter momentarily filling the room white. Today’s only schedule consists of a photoshoot before they’re free to their own devices, but Minjae is brimming with excitement. This morning, he had woken up before all the others and had taken the liberty to make them breakfast, his giddy enthusiasm becoming infectious as he babbled over bowls of rice and eggs. It was no secret to the other members that the vocal had been vying for a shoot like this since debut, and so they just nod their heads, half-asleep and not knowing half of what Minjae is saying. Nonetheless, he’s feeling elated.

With high spirits, Minjae finishes the rest of his shoot and lets Huijun duck into the room before going off to find the other members who are milling around the building. While wandering around the photo plastered hallways, his mind drifts off to Seungmin, who had stolen an egg from his bowl this morning. The older member was unusually quiet over breakfast and Minjae wonders what could possibly be on the other’s mind. He makes a pointed note to ask him later.

Spying Seongjun recording something on his phone leads him to a red hued room filled with staff in padded jackets bustling about. There’s not much noise besides Seongjun’s pleasant conversation with the camera in his hand, but a movement at the corner of his eye catches his attention. Seungmin is standing off to the side, makeup being refreshed by a staff member brushing a puff across his cheeks. Before Minjae realizes it, he’s halfway across the room, being drawn to Seungmin’s presence like the opposite pole of a magnet. There’s something comfortable about the way his hands fit on the other’s shoulders and how his chin rests perfectly on Seungmin’s head when allowed. The staff member doesn’t even bat an eyelash at the interruption, finishing her touch ups with a brush before slightly nodding and taking her leave. Seungmin is also unbothered by his touch and Minjae takes the opportunity to pull him into a tight embrace. Through several layers of padding, his frame still feels impossibly small. He takes both hands and tugs on the other’s ears a little, touch lingering for a second too long. “Hyung, did you get taller?”

He hears Seungmin sigh a little under his breath but knows that his cajoling is nothing new. “I’ve been growing yes.”

Minjae slips his hands back to Seungmin’s shoulders and turns him a little so they’re face to face. Even when visibly tired, he thinks the other looks absolutely radiant today. They’re all wearing simple white button-down shirts and dark pants, but Minjae thinks it makes them look charming, handsome even. He especially can’t stop noticing the sharp angle of Seungmin’s tanned jaw and how his dark brown hair rests at the perfect level to frame his eyes. Minjae surmises that these are perfectly normal thoughts to think of a close friend and his hands tighten a little around the padded jacket of Seungmin’s shoulders.

“You know hyung, you look really handsome today.”

Seungmin looks up from his phone, unimpressed. “Are you still teasing me?”

“Of course not, I really mean it. Why, you don’t believe me?” There’s a moment of silence between them that’s a beat too long. Minjae is confused, as he had expected Seungmin to naturally fire back with something witty as he usually does. The same expression is back from this morning on the other’s face, a mixture of cloudy apprehension and hesitation. He rarely sees this look on Seungmin, but he knows it’s the face when they’re getting scolded by company management or when he knows he’s made a mistake on stage. Something flip-flops in Minjae’s stomach and he doesn’t like the feeling. “Hyung?”

“It’s just hard to tell sometimes.” With that, Seungmin gently shakes out of his hold. His words and movements are soft, but Minjae feels the beginnings of a wall coming up between them. He hates it. “I need to go take my pictures, I’ll come back in a bit.”

Watching his disappearing back, Minjae is left standing there a little hurt, but most of all, confused. He doesn’t know what he had said or did to warrant this reaction from the other, but he knows he wants this to be fixed as quickly as possible. Spotting Seongjun finishing his broadcast, he all but hurries over to the leader and pulls him aside to a bench to voice his concerns.

“Do you think Seungmin is acting a little strange today?”

“Nothing more than the usual.” Minjae notices the careful effort that Seongjun is making not to look him in the eye. The other definitely knew what was up. “Why are you asking?”

“He’s just being a little cold today. He’s never like that.” His voice is a low murmur now, too scared to speak loudly amidst the staff filled room. Minjae knows the likelihood of any of them hearing the pair are low, but he can’t help but feel embarrassed. Why was he so bothered about this anyway? He doesn’t know why there’s an uncomfortable feeling at the pit of his stomach, but it gnaws at his conscience. Had he offended Seungmin?

“He’s just trying to get his thoughts together, give him a little time Minjae.” Again, there’s a lull in the conversation as Seongjun looks off to the curtained room where Seungmin was currently taking pictures. Minjae follows his gaze and his breath hitches a little watching Seungmin flash a smile to the camera. There’s nothing particularly special about the way his hands cup around his chin, but his dimpled smile makes Minjae’s face soften, briefly forgetting his worries. To him, Seungmin is even brighter than the blinding lights. When Minjae looks back at Seongjun, the leader is just looking at him with a knowing look. Unfortunately, he can’t tell what the other exactly knows. He doesn’t even know it himself.

-

Junhyuk is the last one for their individual shoot and so the members find themselves crowded around a small coin photobooth that spits out 6-panel photos in exchange for spare change. His earlier conversation with Seongjun had been cut short when Seungmin finished his photos, and Minjae recalls quickly leaving the bench as to avoid the older member’s suspicions, if he even had any. Better to be safe than sorry.

Huijun and Seongjun had already paired up to select photos, which naturally left Minjae with Seungmin. If this was any other occasion, he would have been jumping with excitement. Now, there was a slight tension between them that hung in the air. He wonders if the other members can feel it and mentally curses Huijun and Seongjun who put him in this situation in the first place.

“Should we pick out our photos?” Seungmin just hums in agreement and begins clicking through the selections. “I’ll leave it to you hyung.”

The screen falls on the options for photo frames. “How about the heart ones?”

“Aren’t those for couples?” As soon as Minjae blurts out the words, he knows he’s messed up. There’s a full second of silence between them as Seungmin doesn’t even look his way before tapping the square frame, laughing off his comment but not turning to face him. Minjae knows that laugh and his heart drops to his stomach, the twisting feeling all too familiar. “Hyung, I was kidding the heart- “

“Let’s just take the photos Minjae.”

They take the photos amicably, keeping up appearances for the cameras which are undoubtedly recording their every word. However, speaking to Seungmin feels like stepping on brambles, Minjae feels like he can’t say anything right today. He wants them to go back to normal, he wants to be able to snake his arms around Seungmin’s waist without feeling awkward, and he wants to be able to rest his head on Seungmin’s shoulders after a long day of schedules. Minjae still isn’t quite sure why there’s always that fluttering feeling when they’re close, but he much prefers it over the sick feeling he has in his chest now. He’s always been naturally clingy and so the wall between them feels achingly foreign. When their pictures fall from the slot, Minjae can’t help but be jealous of the other pair’s photos with the heart frames. He wishes he didn’t open his mouth earlier.

“Hyung, I want to take another one.”

“But we-“

“I want the heart ones this time.” He can see Seungmin beginning to protest, but Minjae purses his lips and gives the other his infallible puppy-dog eyes. “Please? I’m sorry.”

“…Fine, but just one more time.” Seungmin’s tone is begrudging, but his eyes are much softer and Minjae is elated to see the change in his expression. Although Minjae doesn’t need to say much else, he can feel the wall between them crumbling into a small steppingstone he can easily hop over.

They take the photos again and Minjae uses every opportunity to be as close to Seungmin as possible. On the last one, their positions make it look like his lips are faintly grazing Seungmin’s ear and his heart leaps, the earlier ugly feelings in his stomach being replaced by a whirlwind of butterflies. When the second round of photos fall from the machine, the others make fun of their cheesy poses and Seungmin rolls his eyes while trying to hide a smile. Minjae couldn’t be any happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all i know is minmin/bicjae brainrot


End file.
